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| Amorsolo |
A long life doesn’t matter much if you don’t enjoy it.
By Jancee Dunn
You’ve probably heard the term life span. And maybe you’ve learned about health span, a longevity term that describes the number of years someone spends in good health.
Not to overload you with “spans,” but I just heard about another one: Joyspan.
Joyspan is a term coined by Kerry Burnight, who was a professor of geriatric medicine and gerontology at the University of California, Irvine School of Medicine for 18 years. In her upcoming book, “Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half,” she says that a lengthy life span does not equal a life well lived: You have to like your life, too.
Dr. Burnight, who has treated thousands of older patients, writes that aging need not be “the downhill slide that people believe it is.” You can thrive, even when faced with health problems and challenges. “How we step up to those challenges can be the difference between thriving and suffering,” she said. She has had some patients who have become immobilized by the realities of aging, such as a death of a loved one or a chronic condition, “while others have been able to find creative ways to navigate their new normal.”
And you can lengthen your joyspan through everyday choices, regardless of your age or physical condition, by focusing on four “nonnegotiable” actions she has identified in her research, she said.
I asked her to take me through each one.
Grow
Growth is the desire to explore and learn, and research suggests that a sense of curiosity and a willingness to learn help maintain cognitive function and mental health in older adults.
To spark your curiosity, Dr. Burnight said, write down anything that has captured your interest, no matter how esoteric — whether it’s Renaissance fairs, learning to play the drums, genealogy research or rucking.
Then set a “curiosity goal,” in which you challenge yourself to explore a few activities from the list. Or you can embrace a learner’s mind-set. Some colleges and universities, such as those in the California State University System and the state universities and colleges of Ohio, offer a tuition waiver for residents age 60 and older.
Dr. Burnight’s brother Russ retired and soon found that he was bored. When he learned there was a shortage of substitute teachers in his community, he acquired the credentials, at 65, to become an elementary school “sub.”
Russ loves his students, has become friends with teachers and staff members, “and he’s stoked about getting paid,” she said.
Adapt
Dr. Burnight’s 96-year-old mother, Betty, used to love grocery shopping. But when Betty stopped driving, instead of dwelling on how much she missed the market, she adapted and learned how to use Instacart, Dr. Burnight said.
“It was a way for Mom to get that happiness she used to get from going to the store,” she said.
An analysis of 15 studies on successful aging suggests that being able to adapt to your circumstances later in life is a key. Dr. Burnight’s patients who are aging well approach life changes “as a normal part of the human experience.”
To put you in the right frame of mind to face a challenge, she recommends listing things that have gotten better as you’ve gotten older: Do you care less about what others think of you? Do you have greater experience when it comes to problem solving? Perhaps you’re not as reactive?
And when a challenge is looming, brainstorm ways to adapt. Dr. Burnight’s patients have swapped running for swimming after a knee replacement and substituted audiobooks for traditional reading when their eyesight began to fade.
Growth is the desire to explore and learn, and research suggests that a sense of curiosity and a willingness to learn help maintain cognitive function and mental health in older adults.
To spark your curiosity, Dr. Burnight said, write down anything that has captured your interest, no matter how esoteric — whether it’s Renaissance fairs, learning to play the drums, genealogy research or rucking.
Then set a “curiosity goal,” in which you challenge yourself to explore a few activities from the list. Or you can embrace a learner’s mind-set. Some colleges and universities, such as those in the California State University System and the state universities and colleges of Ohio, offer a tuition waiver for residents age 60 and older.
Dr. Burnight’s brother Russ retired and soon found that he was bored. When he learned there was a shortage of substitute teachers in his community, he acquired the credentials, at 65, to become an elementary school “sub.”
Russ loves his students, has become friends with teachers and staff members, “and he’s stoked about getting paid,” she said.
Adapt
Dr. Burnight’s 96-year-old mother, Betty, used to love grocery shopping. But when Betty stopped driving, instead of dwelling on how much she missed the market, she adapted and learned how to use Instacart, Dr. Burnight said.
“It was a way for Mom to get that happiness she used to get from going to the store,” she said.
An analysis of 15 studies on successful aging suggests that being able to adapt to your circumstances later in life is a key. Dr. Burnight’s patients who are aging well approach life changes “as a normal part of the human experience.”
To put you in the right frame of mind to face a challenge, she recommends listing things that have gotten better as you’ve gotten older: Do you care less about what others think of you? Do you have greater experience when it comes to problem solving? Perhaps you’re not as reactive?
And when a challenge is looming, brainstorm ways to adapt. Dr. Burnight’s patients have swapped running for swimming after a knee replacement and substituted audiobooks for traditional reading when their eyesight began to fade.
Give
People with a robust joyspan find ways, even if they’re small, to give to others, Dr. Burnight said. So try to shift your mind-set from “how can you help me” to “how can I help you,” she recommended.
Everyone has something to give, she added, whether it’s “time, attention, patience, wisdom or kindness.”
If you’re skilled at organizing, help a friend who is overwhelmed by a life change such as losing a spouse. If you’re good at chess, teach someone to play. If you enjoy animals, volunteer at a local shelter. If the environment matters to you, join a neighborhood cleanup group.
If you’re still unsure, you can sign up for AARP’s Create the Good program, which matches volunteers with service opportunities in your area, such as being a foster grandparent.
Connect
Research shows that social connections are vital for well-being as we age, while social isolation can harm your physical and mental health. So put time into new and existing relationships, Dr. Burnight said.
She acknowledges that this may not be easy. “Putting yourself out there is uncomfortable and hard,” she said. “But it is really the cost of connection.”
Some of her patients have built connections by hosting family game nights on Zoom and watch parties with friends when they tune into a show and chat in real time. Others have asked their grandchildren to teach them how to play Minecraft.
And ask people questions, she added. Research suggests that people who ask questions are perceived as more likable. The same study found that asking follow-up questions builds rapport.
After the conversation is over, write down topics you want to check back on if you’re afraid it will slip your mind, Dr. Burnight added.
When you follow up, Dr. Burnight said, whether it’s about your neighbor’s termite problem or a new friend’s test results, “people are just so pleased.”
People with a robust joyspan find ways, even if they’re small, to give to others, Dr. Burnight said. So try to shift your mind-set from “how can you help me” to “how can I help you,” she recommended.
Everyone has something to give, she added, whether it’s “time, attention, patience, wisdom or kindness.”
If you’re skilled at organizing, help a friend who is overwhelmed by a life change such as losing a spouse. If you’re good at chess, teach someone to play. If you enjoy animals, volunteer at a local shelter. If the environment matters to you, join a neighborhood cleanup group.
If you’re still unsure, you can sign up for AARP’s Create the Good program, which matches volunteers with service opportunities in your area, such as being a foster grandparent.
Connect
Research shows that social connections are vital for well-being as we age, while social isolation can harm your physical and mental health. So put time into new and existing relationships, Dr. Burnight said.
She acknowledges that this may not be easy. “Putting yourself out there is uncomfortable and hard,” she said. “But it is really the cost of connection.”
Some of her patients have built connections by hosting family game nights on Zoom and watch parties with friends when they tune into a show and chat in real time. Others have asked their grandchildren to teach them how to play Minecraft.
And ask people questions, she added. Research suggests that people who ask questions are perceived as more likable. The same study found that asking follow-up questions builds rapport.
After the conversation is over, write down topics you want to check back on if you’re afraid it will slip your mind, Dr. Burnight added.
When you follow up, Dr. Burnight said, whether it’s about your neighbor’s termite problem or a new friend’s test results, “people are just so pleased.”
BENTO BOX
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 is attributed to King Solomon.
Solomon also called Jedidiah, was the fourth monarch of the Kingdom of Israel and Judah, according to the Hebrew Bible. The successor of his father David, he is described as having been the penultimate (second to the last) ruler of all Twelve Tribes of Israel under an amalgamated Israel and Judah.
Solomon, third king of Israel (reigned c. 968–928 B.C.E.), is said to have had a harem that included 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kgs 11:3). His wives were to have included the daughter of Pharaoh, as well as women of Moabite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite origins (1 Kgs 7:8; 11:1). The latter group is usually understood to represent wives who were added to the harem as a means of sealing treaty agreements with these five foreign powers. Throughout human history, marriage alliance has been the most common way for rulers to attempt to secure peaceful relationships with potential enemies.
The tradition in 1 Kgs 11:1–8 about Solomon’s marriage to foreign wives, whether based on historical records or not, employs the motif of the dangerous foreign woman to condemn Solomon for idolatry in his later years (see Neh 13:26). It seems to illustrate the prohibition in Deut 7:3 against marrying foreign women and also to echo the exclusion of Moab and Edom from the congregation of the Lord in Deut 23:4–9. Foreign women were considered a potential source of trouble because they might not always adopt the culture and values of their husbands and their new place of residence. If they chose to continue to practice their native customs and cults, they would pass these on to their children and might also influence their husbands to adopt some non-Israelite practices as well. Loyalty to and identity with Israelite tradition would be threatened.
In biblical literature, foreign women, seduction, prostitution, sexual disloyalty, and fertility cults were often linked together, yet not all foreign women were viewed as evil. Tamar (Genesis 38), Ruth (Book of Ruth), Rahab (Joshua 2), and Jael (Judges 4–5) provide positive images of foreign women; each demonstrates through her behavior her adoption of Israelite or Judahite society and religion and gains acceptance in her new community. Solomon’s foreign wives, by contrast, depict the negative side of foreign women. Like Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39), Samson’s wife (Judges 14–16), and the foreign woman of Proverbs 1–9, they remain loyal to their own personal or political interests and, as a result, disrupt law and order in their adoptive Israelite community.
Solomon also called Jedidiah, was the fourth monarch of the Kingdom of Israel and Judah, according to the Hebrew Bible. The successor of his father David, he is described as having been the penultimate (second to the last) ruler of all Twelve Tribes of Israel under an amalgamated Israel and Judah.
The tradition in 1 Kgs 11:1–8 about Solomon’s marriage to foreign wives, whether based on historical records or not, employs the motif of the dangerous foreign woman to condemn Solomon for idolatry in his later years (see Neh 13:26). It seems to illustrate the prohibition in Deut 7:3 against marrying foreign women and also to echo the exclusion of Moab and Edom from the congregation of the Lord in Deut 23:4–9. Foreign women were considered a potential source of trouble because they might not always adopt the culture and values of their husbands and their new place of residence. If they chose to continue to practice their native customs and cults, they would pass these on to their children and might also influence their husbands to adopt some non-Israelite practices as well. Loyalty to and identity with Israelite tradition would be threatened.
In biblical literature, foreign women, seduction, prostitution, sexual disloyalty, and fertility cults were often linked together, yet not all foreign women were viewed as evil. Tamar (Genesis 38), Ruth (Book of Ruth), Rahab (Joshua 2), and Jael (Judges 4–5) provide positive images of foreign women; each demonstrates through her behavior her adoption of Israelite or Judahite society and religion and gains acceptance in her new community. Solomon’s foreign wives, by contrast, depict the negative side of foreign women. Like Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39), Samson’s wife (Judges 14–16), and the foreign woman of Proverbs 1–9, they remain loyal to their own personal or political interests and, as a result, disrupt law and order in their adoptive Israelite community.
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