№ 784. 2 Small Happy Habits

Wilder Thoughts

 

2 Small ‘Habit Changes’ For A Noticeably Happier Life, By A Psychologist
By Mark Travers,
Contributor. Mark Travers writes about the world of psychology.


A recent study published in the Journal of Macromarketing found that people who practice voluntary simplicity, deliberately consuming less and relying more on their own skills, report higher levels of both happiness and life purpose.

After analyzing a sample of New Zealander consumers, the study found that those who opted for simpler lives reported greater happiness and a stronger sense of purpose. Notice here the usage of the word “simple” instead of “easy” or “convenient.”

This tells us the opposite story from what’s being peddled to us today. Well-being might only take root in a lack of comfort, through the deliberate act of making space for what matters. But here’s the problem: we live in a culture that sells ease as the highest good. Faster shipping, one-click purchases and all such digital shortcuts are serving the same end of smoothening the harsh edges of daily life.

The study, therefore, comes bearing a warning for our AI-powered lives: the more convenient our lives become, the less content many of us actually feel. The good news is, it also comes bearing solutions, suggesting that the route to happiness may lie not in streamlining everything, but in consciously choosing a little inconvenience.

This isn’t about austerity or giving everything up. It’s about deciding that “enough” can feel better than “more.” And when people make that decision, they tend to redirect their time and energy into areas that matter far more deeply: connection, growth and meaning.

Why Does ‘Voluntary Simplicity’ Work?

Researchers categorize happiness in two primary ways. The first is hedonic wellbeing, which is the day-to-day experience of pleasure and satisfaction. And then, there’s eudaimonic wellbeing, which is more about living in alignment with your values, feeling that your life has direction and growing as a person. Hedonic well-being is usually experienced in the short-term, while the latter evolves and, when done right, increases over the long-term.

Interestingly, by embracing voluntary simplicity and stepping away from the clutter of constant consumption, people seem freer to invest in what fuels them on both fronts.

Convenience, as helpful as it can be, also may be robbing us of our agency. When every problem is outsourced or solved instantly, we miss out on the small challenges that give us a sense of competence and creativity.

Experiencing self-sufficiency, whether that means fixing a home electrical issue, cooking for a grieving neighbor or even having a meaningful conversation instead of picking up your phone, can remind you how satisfying effort can actually feel. That satisfaction, research shows, is often what often leads to lasting happiness.

But, there’s a caveat. To find happiness, you don’t need to strip away all forms of convenience. Instead, focus on creating space for what adds to your life, whether that’s your relationships, a sense of purpose or the pride of making something with your own hands.

Here are two small, practical changes that capture this spirit of simplicity in everyday life and can make you significantly happier.

№ 774. Destinational Living

Author Annie Dillard wrote that “how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives”. So, how was it that I spent a large portion of my 20s​­ terrified of the big, long life I had before me? After Stanford University, I’d moved to New York to work at Google but I was depressed, anxious.

When I realised that many brilliant and accomplished people were also secretly miserable, just trying to make it through the day, I looked for terminology to describe this, but there was none. So I came up with my own: the underfulfilled overachiever, or UFOA. This describes a constant striver who is living a great‑­on‑­paper life, yet feels disconnected from their work, life and self. UFOAs see success as the organising principle of our lives. We call it by a catchy name: hustle culture. We brag about our intense busyness. Side hustles are a badge of honour. Going “above and beyond” in our jobs is routine. Our primary purpose, unabashedly, is achievement.

Most of us were shaped around expectations from the beginning. We praise kids for being “good students”, by which we don’t mean curious and engaged. We mean high grades and awards. Our education system is built on this principle. This means prioritising productivity – achievement’s codependent ­partner – above almost all else. The central question becomes: “How can I be the most productive today?”

The way we’ve been taught to “do” life is all wrong. “Destinational living”, by which we pursue recognisable outcomes based on the lie that these will guarantee security and happiness, is an “end justifies the means” philosophy. Destinational living says: “Decide what you want your life to look like, come up with a 10-​­year plan, and then work backward to determine the most advantageous place to start.” In the abstract, this is a lovely idea. There’s a reason why it’s the dominant cultural paradigm. It’s comforting to believe that the world is so predictable that we can plot it all out in­ advance. If only it were true.

But if this is supposed to guarantee our happiness, why do almost 50% of millennials report symptoms of depression and/or anxiety disorders and ­84% report burnout? And why are these numbers rising? Those are not metrics of success by anyone’s definition. Clearly, our system is broken. The problem is the expectation that with achievement comes fulfilment. It’s not about the most enjoyable way to get to work or being and feeling well during your day; it’s about what each choice can earn you.

Destinational Living means outsourcing our decision-making. What is impressive, what is ­valuable, is defined not by what matters to us personally but, rather, by what matters to others. In effect, we’re “life plagiarising”. It’s asking, “what did that person do to achieve such success?” and then turning around and saying, “OK, got it. Copy, paste”.

What most UFOAs eventually learn the hard way is that being, or appearing, successful (becoming a CEO, parent, spouse, homeowner) is a different experience from being fulfilled. Fulfilment is a deep sense of belonging to yourself.

№ 353. Meaning versus Happiness

"Some researchers have taken to doing that by looking at what they call “eudaimonic happiness,” or the happiness that comes from meaningful pursuits, and “hedonic happiness”—the happiness that comes from pleasure or goal fulfillment."