A New Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity
 to accept the people I cannot change,
 which is pretty much everyone,
 since I’m clearly not you, God.
 At least not the last time I checked.
And while you’re at it, God,
 please give me the courage
 to change what I need to change about myself,
 which is frankly a lot, since, once again,
 I’m not you, which means I’m not perfect.
 It’s better for me to focus on changing myself
 than to worry about changing other people,
 who, as you’ll no doubt remember me saying,
 I can’t change anyway.
Finally, give me the wisdom to just shut up
 whenever I think that I’m clearly smarter
 than everyone else in the room,
 that no one knows what they’re talking about except me,
 or that I alone have all the answers.
Basically, God,
 grant me the wisdom
 to remember that I’m
 not you.
Amen.